My journal is going to become Friends Only here in T minus 10 seconds. Mind you it's not to exclude anyone who is reading my journal but hasn't added me as a friend :), it's simply to give me some privacy against a certain someone, lol call me paranoid. So if you want to continue to read my journal just ask. :)

It's way too hot. Poor Caitlyn is sweating and all she has on is her diaper and a thin onesie. Jason went to bed early since he's going to the range tomorrow. And I just installed a pretty awesome free office suite. It has the equivalent of MS Paint, Excel, Word, and Powerpoint. It even lets you create html documents which lol I am guessing would be webpages, but I'm currently very dumb on html. Oh yeah somehow Jason got my speakers to work yay! And we are currently talking to each other. Our computers are now located in the living room and I like the arrangement. I can see the t.v. if I roll my chair back. We bought some small cheap rugs from the px for like $4, and mine is this really nice and thick dark cream color it matches the light color wood of my desk and it's sooo thick. It's under my computer desk so that like in the winter our feet don't freeze on the cold linoleum, did I spell that right? Lol. Plus we each got a cheap trash can for our desk. And my desk is going to be decorative minimalist. Now does anyone know of any cute stuffed bears about the size of a beanie baby that is red and patriotic? Lol, I have an "America" beanie baby who is blue and then I have the American Care Bear who is white. Lol all I need now is a patriotic red bear to go with his fellow "Americans". I also have some military coins I bought over the past two years from clothing and sales. One is my basic training unit, the other is an Army coin, and the last is a 4th ID coin celebrating the capture of Saddam. I probably have a couple more but that's all I could find for now. So my bears are displaying my coins.

Lol more complaints to come. But good news also. Well semi good news. I got a direct agent sales job, doing the class this monday. Am signed up with an awesome employment agency that have me as their MMC, most marketable candidate, the lady loved my resume and my answers to their application. She wrote thorough, creative, disciplined among some other stuff on my application in regards to me. So she's supposed to be finding me a job. The role player people want me but I haven't called them yet. I want to do it for a little while for the fun of it but at the same time it might not be worth the possible gas loss due to driving to white sands in New Mexico. I turned down an interview with Domino's yesterday. And then this morning got a call for an interview on Monday afternoon. The company is a collections agency type place, and I would be working with businesses I guess trying to get them their money. But I believe it's commission only. But the good thing is that they got my resume from monster.com plus I may have sent my resume to them on monster.com. So I'm basically seeing what's going to happen with my semi-good job prospects.

Long story short, me and jason have been fighting for the past two days. He says I get pissed off at little shit, that I give him an attitude when he asks me to do something small around the house, and pretty much wouldn't get what I was trying to say. I told him that I need more help around the house and with the baby. Last night he brought up his little I'm not good with babies shit. So I said he doesn't have a choice, he has a kid now and has to try. He's like I tried blah blah blah. And finally I got feed up and said then why have kids. That pissed him off. So this morning he took the baby after pt, and took her while I finished breakfast. But during lunch he still sat on his computer while I tried to calm her down. He just didn't get the point that the reason why I wasn't getting much done and giving him an attitude was because he doesn't help as much as I need. I try to tell him on somethings to put stuff away, but he doesn't always listen. I told him I feel like I'm always having to take care of the bills, the baby, the house, finding a job, and making dinner. Plus later on there will be the classes I plan to take. He made the excuse that he comes home too late to pay bills. Well nowadays with telephones and the internet there's no fucking excuse, and he has lunch time too. So yesterday I was pissed and started to do the dishes. And then this morning I started to clean the house, do laundry, do dishes, etc. He mentioned how I'm always playing my game or on lj or my gamer's forum. And he's like it's ok that you play your game but you always on lj or the forum. It's stupid bullshit that it's okay if I'm playing my game to a certain extent, but if I didn't do what he asked and I'm on lj or the forum it's worse, some bullshit like that. Soon he will learn if he doesn't shape up where Caitlyn is concerned that if he doesn't get more involved that's one of the few things that would make me leave him. And I shouldn't have to even think about this shit. But if I ended up going I would consider joining the Army again if I could. I don't think I'd want to have to go back to my parents' especially since they will love to remind me of this relationship. But it will be a while before that happens anyways. Jason loves us and I know doesn't want to lose us.

Ok, I deleted friends who weren't mutual friends on here anymore. And added a friend, yay! And soon will probably make this friends only. In some respects I hate to do it. But after thinking about it I realize how much of my thoughts and feelings are available to be read by the bastard. I had checked my journal a few times at his house. Who's to say he didn't happen to look at it all after seeing it in his history and also knowing that I have a journal. So soon this will be friends only.

It's 10:45pm do you know where your husband is? I do but I don't. He's still at the fucking range. I have to get up at like 7am tomorrow morning to get ready and drop the baby at a friends' house to go to my interview. So soon I will go to sleep and keep the phone nearby in case he calls. This is fucking insane, they better give them tomorrow off, course it probably won't happen.

I wish I could tell who reads my journal who's not in my friends' list. And if I remember correctly if I make my journal friends' only won't that still leave my previous journal entries open to my non-friends?

As much as my husband frustrates I sure do miss him. He's at a firing range currently left at 5am this morning and won't be back till after 9pm since they are doing night firing. It sure does seem quiet and lonely without him. Woohoo! I'm like 90% done with cleaning the living room, then I have to work on my desk. But right now before the storm breaks I think I will go to the commissary to hopefully get some chocolate chip ice cream that I'm craving. :P

Awesome news! I have another job interview tomorrow aside from Domino's. I am pretty confident that I will get a job. Although I am offered a job from today's interview it's doing Direct Sales by commission. Which I would obviously rather not do. This helps out since I just got a letter that I have to start paying Ft. Gordon Federal Credit Union, and although I've wanted to pay them we wouldn't have the money unless I have a decent job. So hopefully I can get something good, and start paying my debts and raise my credit again.

It would fucking figure that jason would forget about the damn dishes and when I remind him he's like oh well there's no point in it now since the power might go out. Motherfucker is not going to do them and possibly not worry about them tomorrow night if I don't do them by then. I am slowly building up my anger about feeling like I am doing every god damn thing. He better call about his speeding ticket tomorrow and I am going to make him clean the living room tomorrow night. Since Time Warner will come out on Tuesday afternoon to switch our internet service to the living room, yay!

Oh yeah, soon I am going to tie jason to his computer chair and have him teach me how to make a website. So that I can a)create my own corny family website and b)create a really cool, hopefully, patriotic website. I have some nice little star, flag, eagle icons and backgrounds. But if anyone knows of some good ones let me know where to find them so that I can use them. :)